Jelly fish.
I learned about these little creatures in school and have been very fortunate never to be “kissed” by one. Ever since I was 11 years old and studied about them, I have been terrified. Something about “…a barbed, threadlike tube that delivers a paralyzing sting…” scared me and has haunted me ever since. The illustrations didn’t help either…
Needless to say, last weekend, my luck ran out.
I was minding my own business, enjoying a day off from training, happily frolicking about in the water, doing “the frog.” As my arms parted the water and my legs slowly closed, a shot ran straight through my body and my legs started to tingle with heat. What in the heck was that?
As this question swam about my brain, I quickly realized what it was …gulp…. a Jellyfish! Oh – My – Goodness - I needed to get the heck out of here! How many were there? Was I under attack? Then it was as if my inside voice slapped me across the face - Get a grip Butter – focus! By the sight of my spectators, you would have thought I spotted a shark and that I was going to drown by the way I was flailing about in panic – until that is, I realized I was only waist deep in water.
Oh. Okay. Well then.
As I adjusted my swimsuit and made my way to safety, my mind went blank. I swear I had been taken right back to that middle school room sitting in my wooden desk with the faint smell of pencil shavings in the air as I stand there on the beach. The very thing that terrorized me in the pages of my Weekly Reader came true 25 years later.
Living in a beach house you hear about these stings and everyone’s self-prescribed remedies – the moment that I got stung, the very first thing that popped into my terror-stricken head was of a time my friend John told me that urine helps take the sting away. He swears by it. Unfortunately, I was fresh out.
As my inner thigh continued to burn, I found myself trying to convince Jeff to pee on me.
Unfortunately I didn’t do a very good job in selling the idea through. I only received a strange look and crooked eyebrows from him as he listened to my plea.
Instead, he had his own solution of grabbing a fistful of wet sand and slapping it on the raw patch of skin, and rubbing it down (which felt like sand paper) while explaining that this would draw the stingers out. Well, I will tell you one thing – I would have preferred the stream of pee. If you are faced with this decision someday, please, take a little humiliation and ask a friend or kindly neighbor to let the golden floodgates flow.
After the gritty spackle had been applied, I had a better idea - my own remedy…. which was waiting for me at home. It was just the getting there part that had me a bit concerned.
One look at my sting reminded me of a motorcycle muffler burn that people often get on their legs when they jump on their Hogs. Except that mine wasn’t that cool and was in a terrible spot. Jeff kept trying to convince me that it wasn’t that serious, they were really little jellies and there was nothing to be worried about. I think I may have heard him chuckle and say something about overreacting…but I must have blocked that out.
All I know is that getting home was going to hurt.
I started by trying to walk normally as my inners thighs rubbed together. The area otherwise known to us girls as “chub rub” was creating a fire as if my legs were two pieces of kindling creating sparks to initiate a campfire. The sand in between didn’t help either.
The more I walked the worse it got.
Soon after that, I adjusted to a waddle, trying not to let my legs touch. I looked like a weird kind of duck wiggling down the beach for all to see. A bad day to wear a bikini I will tell you that.
So, I made it home and was happy to have all of the ingredients waiting there. I saw this great little recipe by Sue Spitler in Cooking Light Magazine the night before and it lay on the counter, which now looked like a little miracle on paper.
So, here is Butter’s Homemade Remedy for Jellyfish Stings:
Ingredients:
Watermelon Margaritas (Recipe can be found at http://bit.ly/9oAVyn)
Plenty of Laughter!
Directions:
Once served, reflect on the day and find something funny about the whole thing and laugh.
If it still burns – have another until you have forgotten all about it.
We sipped and sipped…. and sipped some more. After awhile everything seemed so much better. The stinging sensation was gone and we enjoyed a lovely lunch that Jeff had prepared which was absolutely delicious. We reflected on all of the fun we had prior to the attack and just laughed at it all.
Just think about it this way - These are the memories that we are creating every day – and will laugh about again and again.
Cheers!
"If I ever stop laughing, I'm dead." - Tom Knapp
Live Life J …on Purpose.
- Love, Butter
